Jan 15, 2007. In this special double-segment, we wrap up our infamous Who's That Bird segment and award our long-awaited reacharound. In a surprise twist, we decide that the loser must provide said reacharound. Nevertheless, John maintains his strategy of being a complete jackass. Will it pay off? Listen, and find out! Learn about the accordion-shaped white laughing bird, the weeping football cannibal bird, and the two-fisted marine fisher in round one! As if that's not enough, we still have time to discuss Rich Little, the Three Stooges, and Toucan Sam before announcing a winner. Email us at maskedman@limitedappeal.net. See the final results in our Extras section.

Jan 8, 2007. We start by asking why there are no milkmen any more (especially in light of their reproductive success). That segment really sets the bar low for the rest of the episode. Next Warren tells a story about a waitress who used to be a phone sex operator, and often spoke of manmilk (do you get the theme yet?). If you have ever called a phone sex line and heard of manmilk, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Finally, Luc asks where you would like to obtain samples if you studied semen: your supervisor, your brother, a homeless guy, or a needle right into the "testes satchel"?

Jan 1, 2007. We know Tedmas is over, but since Ted has had such a huge influence on our culture, we thought naming a second episode after him was OK. We start with an Urban Legend segment exploring the origin of shirt wearing among human men. Turns out a nipple-tweaking prank got way out of hand, and no one could get anything done. Pretty obvious in hindsight, eh? Then we take a Nature Walk and discuss the reintroduction of Bearded Vultures to the Alps. Just like John, they don’t eat meat but they sure like the bone. Somehow, our discussion leads us to strange foods, such as mouldy cheeses and berries. If you know of anything even weirder than bones that can be used as food, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Dec 19, 2006. During this holy time of peace, giving and family, we bring to you tidings of great joy, and ask age-old questions about why angels have trees in their asses. And some other things. Then we discuss the pros and cons of the Santa Claus myth. If you want to ask T-bone how Sex was personified as a character during his upbringing, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Then Luc reveals the frightening, sinister side of Santa who might stuff you into a big sack and carry you away. Are you scared, bitch? Sticking with the theme, in ETWTF we ask how one might explain Santa (or Ted) to aliens. Merry Tedmas, everyone!

Dec 13, 2006. We start this week with a question from a MySpace friend about the difference between Canadians and Americans. We've hypothesized a geographical "component". Say it with us: "component". Say it!! Very good. Next we debunk a Keith Urban Legend. Isn't that clever? Finally, in "Inventions and Shit" Luc lists his favourite three inventions: toilet paper (which happens to lead to a lot of poo talk – unusual for our podcast), vulcanized rubber, and of course, quorn. If you represent the company in charge of mycoprotein and wish to pay us for our endorsement, or if you are Carol Channing and object to our impression, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Dec 7, 2006. Warren starts us off with another absurd urban legend, this time featuring Scooby Doo. John ends up inadvertently defending Warren's theory about the creative process behind character design, and T-Bone ends up believing the whole shit-story. Then Warren lists his three favourite inventions: insect repellent (for keeping malaria away), houses (a modern, prairie cave for keeping your plasma TV screen dry), and religion (either for making bad people good, or good people bad, depending on your perspective). If you are religious or irreligious and want to complain about our trivial treatment of this subject, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Nov 29, 2006. If you've ever wondered how we generate episode titles, this week we provide a clue. In "Inventions and Shit", T-bone lists his choices for the three best inventions of all time: mustard, Listerine, and the subwoofer. Then Luc treads dangerously, and will need to send his missus lots of flowers. If you are Ukrainian, and want to complain about T-bone's mustardy perogies, email us as well. In ETWTF, we try to explain sodomy to aliens. "Oops – I'm a sodomite!" If you are an alien and can use your vast quantity of anal probing research to explain things to us, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Nov 22, 2006. For all of you searching for enlightenment about Runescape or Pamela Anderson's dink, you've been had. Hey, if you're feeling bad about this, at least you're not CENSORED, wearing a CENSORED because you broke your CENSORED. If you don't understand our censorship, please refer to Episode Waxorama. We understand that inside jokes work poorly in a podcast, but we figure that our show is bad enough that it doesn't really matter. In "Inventions and Shit", John lists his three favourite inventions of all time. Strangely, the butt-cork wasn't on his list. Surprised? Email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). We leave you with some sage words: if you leave a little lube, it always comes back to you. One more thing: neopets.

Nov 16, 2006. The first thing we learn is why John's nuts freeze before the rest of his "mid-section". Mid-section: n., the "mid" part of your body (WWC, 2006). Then in the Nature Walk, we present the latest, current, "this" episode of "Who's that bird?" Learn all about the donkey-stalking winged terrors of New Zealand, the toothed waddling goose-road bird, and the "almost as tiny as John's penis" quarter-sized, gray furry bird with antennae. Imagine how easy it was to pick a winner from those choices! Email us your complaints about this week's show, because we know there's plenty to complain about (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Nov 8, 2006. In this week's ETWTF, we try (with very little success) to explain Marilyn Manson to aliens. If you are Marilyn Manson, and care to clear up the confusion about your ball-mask and tits, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Then, in Inventions and Shit, Warren proposes developing a pissgauge. We never fully decide whether this is a good idea, but it leads to a lot of intriguing discussion on piss. Go figure! Finally, we consider the lengths to which some people will go to prepare for the inevitable clean-up following a masturbatory session.

Nov 1, 2006. We start by reaching deep into the mail sack. Actually, this is a response to a comment on our MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal) from our monotarded friend (no offence, Karm). If you want us to talk about your own question, but not necessarily answer it, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In Dictionary Plus, we discuss Reuter's euphemistic phrase, "oedipal expletive". They're a bunch of smart mother-fuckers over at Reuter's, eh? One more thing: Warren and John are ridiculous nerds. If it's not already apparent, we provide the final proof. (Pazam!)

Oct 25, 2006. We begin with the first ever ETWTF segment, in which we try to explain strange human habits to an alien visitor. John's clever (believe it or not) approach might obviate the need for any future ETWTF segments. In our Nature Walk, Warren asks whether and which other animals would benefit from Tigger's bouncy tail. Yes, we're tackling all the important issues here at limited appeal. In case you've already considered this important problem and want to add to our suggestions, let us know via email at maskedman@limitedappeal.net.

Oct 19, 2006. This week's first segment is "Polish the Bishop", in which Warren asks us to interpret the euphemism, "Putting up the birdhouse". If you're an insulted pornostar, send us your complaint at maskedman@limitedappeal.net. In the "Superhero's Phone Booth", we reveal the complex repercussions of peer pressure in the superhero society. Not our best segment, but we felt pressured to put something out, because everyone else was doing it.

Oct 10, 2006. For the 2nd consecutive week, we find our mail sack is brimming with mail. This time we read genuine hate mail from a certain shit-throwing gorilla. If you have hate mail for us, please send it to maskedman@limitedappeal.net. In "Foody Goody", we discuss how one might protect his burger from thieves. Finally, in "Polish the Bishop", we try to devise the true meaning behind clever euphemisms. This week's euphemism is "Colonel it up". T-Bone's explanation is guaranteed to make this phrase a common feature in everyone's vocabulary, especially at fancy dinner parties, bitches.

Oct 4, 2006. We start the episode by digging into our mail sack, where we find our sexy voice girl has left a note. John fantasizes about how cool it would be if she were a bum. If you would like us to imagine YOU were a bum, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In this week's "Nature Walk", we present the 4th episode of "Who's That Bird?", and try to interpret an unusual bird call with even less success than usual. Can you say "big, orange penguin-like bird with an elephant trunk"? I didn't think so. But even if you can't say that, I'll bet your guess on "Who's That Bird" will be better than any of ours.

Sep 26, 2006. We start this week by contemplating the likely pets of each of the other hosts. If you have any suggestions of pets that would be well suited for one or more of us, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In our "Nature Walk", John asks what the difference is between hair and fur. The answer may not be as straightforward as you think. What about sheep? What about teddy bears? Would YOU want a fur coat made of pubic fur?

Sep 21, 2006. We attempt to try to solve the world's problem with oil dependency in this week's Pooh Corner. In a short time, we manage to come up with 2 brilliant solutions. Why don't world leaders consult us? If you are a world leader, feel free to consult us via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. In the Superhero's Phone Booth, we meet Denial Man. He may not defeat the shit-throwing gorilla, but he won't admit it. He's a complex figure. See if you can follow Warren's twisted logic and figure out who Denial man really is.

Sep 15, 2006. We start this week by imagining what would happen if everyone all over the world punched somebody. Wouldn't that be great for some of us? But not for CENSORED. He would be a bloody mess. Then we introduce a new segment: Your Body and You. Are you as excited as we are? Wait till you learn all about earwax, and what distinguishes it from snot. Don't you think that snot would be a better bodily fluid for your ears than wax? Let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).

Sep 7, 2006. We start the second half of our face-to-face recording with a Sportage discussion of golf terms. If you're Scottish or gay or both and wish to send us hatemail, our email address is maskedman@limitedappeal.net. Then T-Bone initiates revelations about some of our traumatic ornithological memories. Finally, we learn how to tell whether a snail that is not moving is sleeping or dead. And maybe some other things about snail eating, and browser addresses – I don't know because I was too bored by John's explanation. Listen and find out for yourself if you dare!

Aug 31, 2006. This week we present part one of our first ever face-to-face recording from T-Bone's studio. Let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net) if you notice any difference. We start by going on a Nature Walk in the 3rd instalment of "Who's That Bird?", in which you can play along by guessing the appearance and demeanour of the New Zealand bird just by hearing its song. In the Superhero's phone booth, we meet Concentration Boy. Evildoers, beware his ultra focus! Our Urban Legend segment explores the etymology of the term Urban Legend. Believe it! (Or not.)

Aug 24, 2006. This week Luc gets a bit irate, old-man style, about trendy new names for colours. Everyone else disagrees. In Inventions and Shit, we come up with a brilliant novelty item that is sure to generate millions. Ambitious inventors (or rock bands) should contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net) to obtain our logo for the corner of the toilet paper squares, and to offer us a cut of the profits. Also, please visit our myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal!

Aug 18, 2006. We introduce a sexy-voice girl this week, who will help introduce some of the segments. What do you think? Let us know via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. We start this week's show with a discussion of Chicken Boo. He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man, he's a chicken, boo! In Foody Goody, we debate the origin of cotton candy. Actually, we spend most of the time converting a cotton candy machine into an ass-cleaning implement.

Aug 11, 2006. This week's Urban Legend enlightens everyone on the offensive origin of the phrase "Bless you!" (pardon our French) as a response to sneezing. As usual, it's complete bullshit. In the Superhero's phone booth, we describe a fruity wonder who will quickly despatch the shit-eating gorilla. Although her superhero status is questioned by some of us, the one who writes the descriptions is convinced. What do you think? Let us know via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. Finally, in this week's Sportage, we connect the dots between Popeye and Tiger Woods. If you didn't think they were linked, you're in for a surprise.

Aug 1, 2006. This week's Nature Walk is the second episode in our series on New Zealand Birds. Play along as we infer the characteristics and temperaments of exotic birds using only their song. Who will win the grand prize: a reacharound? In Dictionary Plus, we discuss a new word for designating particularly loud farts. How the English language has been able to manage until now without this word, we don't know. If you have any theories, let us know via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net.

Jul 22, 2006. We start this week with Sportage and a discussion of the mismatch in colours between the Italian flag and soccer uniforms. Then our Urban Legend segment reveals the origin of toothpaste, which might make you appreciate the fact that you weren't born in ancient Egypt. Finally, in Pooh Corner, we ponder a rather simple proposal for resolving much of the tension in the world today. If you would like to support us in this endeavour, let us know via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net.

Jul 15, 2006. In an attempt to avoid being offensive, we pay tribute to possibly offended faecophiles in Foody Goody. What's wrong with eating poo? Let us know: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. In the superhero's phone booth, we issue an ultimatum (sort of) to Conan O'Brien. We think this will make him very nervous. Finally, we ask what would happen if everyone in the world jumped at the same time. Don't try this at home, everyone in the world – who knows what could happen! Before you jump (or duck), follow our helpful instructions.

Jul 6, 2006. We welcome back T-bone for an indefinite period, and we're not blaming him specifically, but the resulting recording is rather offensive. If this episode doesn't get the hatemail (maskedman@limitedappeal.net), nothing will. We start with Pooh Corner, and solve the pressing problem of worldwide simultaneous pissing. It might not be a problem where you live, but trust us: it's a problem in some places. T-bone then continues his infatuation with mustard with an ode to wasabi. Next, who should choose the gender of a police officer that gives you a strip search: the searcher or the searchee? Finally, we come up with the definitive reason that fascism is bad. Offended fascists should email their dissent.

Jun 25, 2006. Everything we talk about this week comes shooting out of someone's body. Isn't that a happy thought? In our increasingly popular "Urban Legend" segment, Warren explains how to properly prepare for peeing. His advice may sound far-fetched, but, well, it's true. In "Foody Goody", we ponder why cows, sheep, and goats are the mammals of choice for the world's milk supply, to the apparent exclusion of all kinds of mammals (and fish). Which milk would be best for your breakfast cereal? Tell us via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net

Jun 18, 2006. In the spirit of the ongoing World Cup of Football, we discuss how to solve the problem of diving in soccer. Our solutions involve drastic changes to the sport, but we think it would be a considerable improvement. (If you disagree, let us know: maskedman@limitedappeal.net) Then, in a brand new segment, John and Warren try to guess a bird's appearance and temperament by listening to its song. Play along and see if you can match the bird species with the audio clip!

Jun 10, 2006. An extended episode this week, devoted to a special edition of Pooh Corner, in which we attempt to discover what evidence would prove or disprove the existence of god (or God). If you are expecting something sober and intelligent, you clearly haven't been paying attention to the rest of our podcasts. "Whoopie ti-yi-yo/ Oh happy Magellan/ Starting your journey/ With hardly a care…"

Jun 1, 2006. After a month long hiatus in recording while Luc was in New Zealand, we return with a minor vengeance. Just don't expect too much, enh? We begin with a brand new segment called "Urban Legend", which is guaranteed to contain even less truth than the rest of our discussions. In our first iteration, Warren explains who is most at risk of a shark attack. During our "Punchmack" segment, Hoss writes us about our undoubtedly rapidly shrinking fan club, and suggests a new topic for discussion: reality shows we would like that have not yet been developed. Unfortunately, we drop the ball here, and Hoss may never know the complete answer. Sigh.

May 24, 2006. This week we offer slightly more than usual. Our inaugural segment of Dictionary Plus deals with the phrase "needless to say". Perhaps we needn't have bothered to say anything about it, but we do aim for more than is needed: what is needed...plus. We also feature our first "Sportage" segment, in which we propose alternate uniforms (uniforms plus) for denoting specific members of sports teams. Finally, in our "Foody Goody" segment, we vacillate wildly on whether or not gum is food. If you think you know the answer, allow us to persuade you that there are at least two (two plus) equally ridiculous points of view, at least one of which (one plus) you might not have considered.

May 17, 2006. We've assembled some bits that were excluded from previous episodes into a new, surprisingly cohesive package (well, no less cohesive than other episodes). We discuss one aspect of Luc's unusual physiology, why flying saucers might be round, and in our Nature Walk segment, what would happen if humans were semelparous, having a single reproductive season before a massive and collective round of death. Like salmon. Nice, huh?

May 10, 2006. This week we try to use profanity in every sentence of the show, with mixed success. This devolves into a pretty unimpressive and repetitive exercise, but that's no worse than our average episode, is it? We start by debating the nature of profanity. We eventually move on to the superhero's phone booth, this time inhabited by a gorilla with an unusual gift (as long as he can control it). In our Nature Walk segment, we try to discuss inappropriate animal behaviour, but John derails the conversation very quickly when he tries to introduce new profanities.

May 2, 2006. Still more foody for your goody. Which kind of animal trimmings are the best? We reveal the long-sought answer in this week's episode. In our first "Sportage" segment, we discuss how Memphis managed to upset Oral Roberts. A long, complicated, story...

Apr 23, 2006. More foody for your goody. We give credit where it's due to the fearless nation of deep-frying innovation (copyright for that catchy phrase is pending, after which t-shirt production will begin in earnest). Then we start whacky cross-overs between segments, with foody-goody morphing into inventions and shit, and even into a new segment, as-yet unperformed, the "word zone". Finally, we have mail! Hypoglycemia Gurl (or possibly Hairy Gorilla) punches our mail sack.

Apr 9, 2006. As you can see, we have moved to episode shapes instead of numbers, for obvious reasons. In this week's "Nature Walk", we discuss animal halitosis. Then we discuss which country has the best flag. In our inaugural "Foody Goody" segment, we promote the expansion of preservation methods. Is jerkifying a word? If it is, it probably doesn’t mean what you think it does.

Mar 27, 2006. 1) "Punch Us in the Mail Sack": the bright side of having no email. 2) "Inventions and Shit": the Amplifarter. 'Nuff said. 3) "Nature Walk": the hexagonal camouflage of giraffes. We're very, very tired.

Mar 17, 2006. 4-way conversation continued (with guest-host T-bone), along with some of the audio problems. To make up for this, we inaugurate a new segment dedicated to solving important world problems, appropriately titled "Pooh Corner". If that's not enough, we determine the essence of accordions, and in our "Nature Walk" segment, John gets a bit squirrelly talking about hibernation.

Mar 9, 2006. Another Limited Appeal first, we have a 4-way conversation this week, including T-bone who revisits as a guest host for the second consecutive episode. This caused a few audio problems, so we probably won’t try it again soon, but the content was too good to dump, especially because the audio problems were frustrating and generated an even angrier than usual John. Segments this week include a nearly invincible superhero, "Punch Us in the Mail Sack" and "Inventions and Shit".

Mar 3, 2006. In a first for Limited Appeal, this week T-bone sits in for John as a guest host. He proposes a new Olympic event that combines 2 unrelated activities, either in addition to or to substitute for the biathlon. Then we reveal which type of luggage is best for storing condiments, and how to tell when you have run out of mustard. In this week’s "Nature Walk" segment, we discuss animals that might have a military predisposition.

Feb 20, 2006. Episode 5 starts off with our first Mailbag segment, where we discuss feedback from listeners. Then we speculate on the age-old question "what if smurfs were real?" And finally, we discuss a cone of silence during our first "Inventions and Shit" segment.

Feb 12, 2006. Episode 4's topics include a Nature Walk segment focusing on animal-human hybrids, and an indepth discussion on firefighters' helmets.

Feb 4, 2006. Episode 3's topics include discovering alien intelligent life, a Nature Walk segment discussing the domestication of wild animals, and cool ways of dying.

Jan 29, 2006. Episode 2 begins with a discussion about a super-clean superhero. Then the focus shifts to the origins of candy canes. And finally, our first ever Nature Walk segment is an intriguing discussion of extinction of cockroaches.

Jan 18, 2006. Our inaugural podcast! We discuss the pros and cons of having tails, as well as a discussion on our current citrus counts.